10 Types Of Mums I Hate in Mum Groups

Every new mum-to-be searches for groups that support one another and give guidance throughout your pregnancy; we crave reassurance that we are doing things 'perfectly' and 'how it should be done.' First time mums look for answers from mums of more than one child because they think they are 'more experienced' and 'know better than everyone else.' Mums-to-be add themselves to groups in hopes that they can talk to other mums without being judged or insulted.


Ha! When has that been more of a fantasy?

I absolutely HATE mum groups but I stick in a certain one because I stand up for myself and my beliefs/opinions. This group has plenty of supportive people but there are the odd few that think they know better than the thousand other women in this group. Proper riles me up. Let me just give you more points of why I hate mum groups.



1. The Graphic Image Judging Mum
"You bed shared? You're such a bad mum. What if you wake up one morning and your baby is underneath you dead and cold."
Excuse me? There are precautions to take where you can bed share safely. I bed shared up until Rhea-Jane was three months old because she craved her mum's presence and warmth. How dare you even cause such a horrific image in my head and make the rest of us bed sharing mums feel like utter shit. We all parent in a different way!

2. The Professional Fake-Doctor Mum
"You're not supposed to do this, that, and the other."
Are you a qualified doctor of my daughter? Do you know her medical history? Are you even in the UK where guidelines differ to other countries? Do you know MY daughter better than me? No? Oh, fucking butt out then.

3. The Weight Critic Mum
"She only weighs HOW MUCH?!"
Not all babies are the same size and weigh, love. She is well fed, happy, and healthy. She processes her food quickly. She was also FOUR weeks EARLY.

4. The Environmental Pusher Mum
"You should cloth diaper rather than use disposables which are bad for the environment."
Sure i'll use them. You can pay a fortune for them, come round, rinse off the shit, and do my laundry too. Deal?

5. The Perfect Mum
"I have done this and it is proven safe. I do this on a regular basis and my kids are beyond healthy. Look how happy my kids are. My kids are better looked after than yours. My kids are perfect because they were birthed by me - the perfect mum." - to put it bluntly.
HAHAHA, we all know you just take pictures of the happy moments, then go to the bathroom to have a cry because you're so stressed out; the rest of us do it. But please, write us your perfect mum book so I can burn it for fun.

6. The Drama Seeking Mum
*Finds a thread that is easy to piss off mums*
"I don't like your comment so I am gong to reply with something sarcastic. I will bite you with my shitty wittiness to try and annoy you. Here's a meme that will get you riled up. How about I throw in some fake article to make it look like you don't know what you're saying."
*See next point*

7. The Piranha Mum
*Sees Drama Seeking Mum post some shit*
"Oh No She Di-n't. ATTACK"
6 and 7 points speak for themselves.

8. The Queen of Sheeba Mum - ADMINS
"I can post whatever I like and if you don't like it then I can just remove you for fun. Mwuahaha. Take me on bitch, lets see how far you can push my buttons by having an opposite opinion to me. I am Admin and I OWN YOU!"
Fuck off you dick.

9. The Stand-Their-Ground Mum
9a) "What I say is best for my child, you can't change my mind because I know my baby. You don't look after my baby so how would you know what's best for her?"
9b) "You're wrong, she's wrong, you're whole life is wrong."
There are two stand-their-ground mums. The one who will stand up for themselves because they know what's best for their own child and won't take anyone putting them down. They love and support other mums, protect them from trolls, and will respectfully say their opposite opinion. The other, well, you can see for yourself. This is the type of mum who throws shade, the mum who think she knows best and will tell you blunty that you're basically a bad mum. This is also a mum that throws article after article, maybe throwing in an invalid youtube video at you to try and prove her point. Instant delete from the admin. 

10. The Show Off Mum
"I am going to read only half of the thread because I just want to get to the comments and post picture after picture of my baby. I post things that have nothing to do with the subject because my baby deserves to be on every thread."
Oh. My. God. All this woman asked was what size nappies our babies are in at a certain month. No need to post a half naked baby picture telling us she just rolled over. Start a new thread haha! Bless though, so bloody adorable.




Don't get me wrong, there are really nice, polite, supportive mums in mum groups. It's the odd few that create such a bad atmosphere; I have seen mums upset and leave these groups because they feel so judged and put down - so, so, sad. You see the stand-their-ground mums stick and get over the drama, as they know they are a damn well good mum and don't deserve to be judged like they do. Some Admins are really good at what they do; they delete the trolls and support the victims. 

Not all mum groups are bad, but it is rare to find a perfect group. I used to love the group I am in, but more and more mums think they know better than you like there is a perfect mum book I don't know about. No mum is the same. No mum will stick to textbook; they will listen to their health visitors and will make an educated decision on what's best for THEIR child. Every child progresses at different speeds - no child is the same.

Milestones come in different stages, taking in account of when they baby is born, and the gender of the baby. You, as a mum, should take advice on the chin but stick to your guns. 



IF I HAVE MISSED A TYPE OF MUM OUT, PLEASE COMMENT!

I'd love to know your opinion on different types!




Much love,

2 comments:

  1. Oh gosh I find mummy groups so difficult sometimes :/ very judgemental, if you ff why didn't you bf and if you bf you shouldn't be doing it in public, you baby led wean and baby might choke or why wait til 6 months and if you puree wean early how very dare you...the list is endless, can't bloody win. Tho one type of mum I can't stick are those that had it worse than you or always comparing babies. "Oh your baby is the months old and almost rolling, mine has been crawling since such a time" or "oh yeah your labour sounds awful but I was in labour for * hours and had to have an emergency section then baby was in ICU for weeks and I cried my heart out etc" like not that I don't feel anything for these mums because imy sad and happy for them and I relate but just wish it wasn't such a competition all the time. Why can't we parent our own way:( xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh gosh I find mummy groups so difficult sometimes :/ very judgemental, if you ff why didn't you bf and if you bf you shouldn't be doing it in public, you baby led wean and baby might choke or why wait til 6 months and if you puree wean early how very dare you...the list is endless, can't bloody win. Tho one type of mum I can't stick are those that had it worse than you or always comparing babies. "Oh your baby is the months old and almost rolling, mine has been crawling since such a time" or "oh yeah your labour sounds awful but I was in labour for * hours and had to have an emergency section then baby was in ICU for weeks and I cried my heart out etc" like not that I don't feel anything for these mums because imy sad and happy for them and I relate but just wish it wasn't such a competition all the time. Why can't we parent our own way:( xxx

    ReplyDelete

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